第68部分(第3/7 頁)

step　of　finding　work；　for　she　shrank　with　extreme

sensitiveness　and　shyness　from　new　contact；　new　situations。　Then

at　length　a　sort　of　doggedness　drove　her。　Her　soul　was　full　of

bitterness。

She　went　to　the　Free　Library　in　Ilkeston；　copied　out

addresses　from　the　Schoolmistress；　and　wrote　for

application　forms。　After　two　days　she　rose　early　to　meet　the

postman。　As　she　expected；　there　were　three　long　envelopes。

Her　heart　beat　painfully　as　she　went　up　with　them　to　her

bedroom。　Her　fingers　trembled；　she　could　hardly　force　herself　to

look　at　the　long；　official　forms　she　had　to　fill　in。　The　whole

thing　was　so　cruel；　so　impersonal。　Yet　it　must　be　done。

〃Name　（surname　first）：。。。〃

In　a　trembling　hand　she　wrote；　〃Brangwen；……Ursula。〃

〃Age　and　date　of　birth：。。。〃

After　a　long　time　considering；　she　filled　in　that　line。

〃Qualifications；　with　date　of　Examination：。。。〃

With　a　little　pride　she　wrote：

〃London　Matriculation　Examination。〃

〃Previous　experience　and　where　obtained：。。。〃

Her　heart　sank　as　she　wrote：

〃None。〃

Still　there　was　much　to　answer。　It　took　her　two　hours　to　fill

in　the　three　forms。　Then　she　had　to　copy　her　testimonials　from

her　head…mistress　and　from　the　clergyman。

At　last；　however；　it　was　finished。　She　had　sealed　the　three

long　envelopes。　In　the　afternoon　she　went　down　to　Ilkeston　to

post　them。　She　said　nothing　of　it　all　to　her　parents。　As　she

stamped　her　long　letters　and　put　them　into　the　box　at　the　main

post…office　she　felt　as　if　already　she　was　out　of　the　reach　of

her　father　and　mother；　as　if　she　had　connected　herself　with　the

outer；　greater　world　of　activit