第48部分(第5/7 頁)

quick　as　a　lion。　He

was　never　still。〃

Lydia　still　resented　Lensky。　When　she　thought　of　him；　she　was

always　younger　than　he；　she　was　always　twenty；　or　twenty…five；

and　under　his　domination。　He　incorporated　her　in　his　ideas　as　if

she　were　not　a　person　herself；　as　if　she　were　just　his

aide…de…camp；　or　part　of　his　baggage；　or　one　among　his　surgical

appliances。　She　still　resented　it。　And　he　was　always　only

thirty：　he　had　died　when　he　was　thirty…four。　She　did　not　feel

sorry　for　him。　He　was　older　than　she。　Yet　she　still　ached　in　the

thought　of　those　days。

〃Did　you　like　my　first　grandfather　best？〃　asked　Ursula。

〃I　liked　them　both；〃　said　the　grandmother。

And；　thinking；　she　became　again　Lensky's　girl…bride。　He　was

of　good　family；　of　better　family　even　than　her　own；　for　she　was

half　German。　She　was　a　young　girl　in　a　house　of　insecure

fortune。　And　he；　an　intellectual；　a　clever　surgeon　and

physician；　had　loved　her。　How　she　had　looked　up　to　him！　She

remembered　her　first　transports　when　he　talked　to　her；　the

important　young　man　with　the　severe　black　beard。　He　had　seemed

so　wonderful；　such　an　authority。　After　her　own　lax　household；

his　gravity　and　confident；　hard　authority　seemed　almost　God…like

to　her。　For　she　had　never　known　it　in　her　life；　all　her

surroundings　had　been　loose；　lax；　disordered；　a　welter。

〃Miss　Lydia；　will　you　marry　me？〃　he　had　said　to　her　in

German；　in　his　grave；　yet　tremulous　voice。　She　had　been　afraid

of　his　dark　eyes　upon　her。　They　did　not　see　her；　they　were　fixed

upon　her。　And　he　was　hard；　confident。　She　thrilled　with　the

excitement　of　it；　and　accepted。　During　the　courtsh