第39部分(第5/7 頁)

　restoring　the

organ；　and　making　the　singing　as　perfect　as　possible。　To　keep

the　church　fabric　and　the　church…ritual　intact　was　his　business；

to　have　the　intimate　sacred　building　utterly　in　his　own　hands；

and　to　make　the　form　of　service　plete。　There　was　a　little

bright　anguish　and　tension　on　his　face；　and　in　his　intent

movements。　He　was　like　a　lover　who　knows　he　is　betrayed；　but　who

still　loves；　whose　love　is　only　the　more　intense。　The　church　was

false；　but　he　served　it　the　more　attentively。

During　the　day；　at　his　work　in　the　office；　he　kept　himself

suspended。　He　did　not　exist。　He　worked　automatically　till　it　was

time　to　go　home。

He　loved　with　a　hot　heart　the　dark…haired　little　Ursula；　and

he　waited　for　the　child　to　e　to　consciousness。　Now　the　mother

monopolized　the　baby。　But　his　heart　waited　in　its　darkness。　His

hour　would　e。

In　the　long　run；　he　learned　to　submit　to　Anna。　She　forced　him

to　the　spirit　of　her　laws；　whilst　leaving　him　the　letter　of　his

own。　She　bated　in　him　his　devils。　She　suffered　very　much　from

his　inexplicable　and　incalculable　dark　rages；　when　a　blackness

filled　him；　and　a　black　wind　seemed　to　sweep　out　of　existence

everything　that　had　to　do　with　him。　She　could　feel　herself；

everything；　being　annihilated　by　him。

At　first　she　fought　him。　At　night；　in　this　state；　he　would

kneel　down　to　say　his　prayers。　She　looked　at　his　crouching

figure。

〃Why　are　you　kneeling　there；　pretending　to　pray？〃　she　said；

harshly。　〃Do　you　think　anybody　can　pray；　when　they　are　in　the

vile　temper　you　are　in？〃

He　remained　crouching　by　the　beside；　motionless。

〃It's　horrible；〃　s