第17部分(第6/7 頁)

volition；　or　of　acquiescence。　He　stood　before　her　and　looked

down　at　her。　Her　face　was　shining　again；　her　eyes　were　shining

again　like　terrible　laughter。　It　was　to　him　terrible；　how　she

could　be　transfigured。　He　could　not　look　at　her；　it　burnt　his

heart。

〃My　love！〃　she　said。

And　she　put　her　arms　round　him　as　he　stood　before　her　round

his　thighs；　pressing　him　against　her　breast。　And　her　hands　on

him　seemed　to　reveal　to　him　the　mould　of　his　own　nakedness；　he

was　passionately　lovely　to　himself。　He　could　not　bear　to　look　at

her。

〃My　dear！〃　she　said。　He　knew　she　spoke　a　foreign　language。

The　fear　was　like　bliss　in　his　heart。　He　looked　down。　Her　face

was　shining；　her　eyes　were　full　of　light；　she　was　awful。　He

suffered　from　the　pulsion　to　her。　She　was　the　awful　unknown。

He　bent　down　to　her；　suffering；　unable　to　let　go；　unable　to　let

himself　go；　yet　drawn；　driven。　She　was　now　the　transfigured；　she

was　wonderful；　beyond　him。　He　wanted　to　go。　But　he　could　not　as

yet　kiss　her。　He　was　himself　apart。　Easiest　he　could　kiss　her

feet。　But　he　was　too　ashamed　for　the　actual　deed；　which　were

like　an　affront。　She　waited　for　him　to　meet　her；　not　to　bow

before　her　and　serve　her。　She　wanted　his　active　participation；

not　his　submission。　She　put　her　fingers　on　him。　And　it　was

torture　to　him；　that　he　must　give　himself　to　her　actively；

participate　in　her；　that　he　must　meet　and　embrace　and　know　her；

who　was　other　than　himself。　There　was　that　in　him　which　shrank

from　yielding　to　her；　resisted　the　relaxing　towards　her；　opposed

the　mingling　with　her；　even　while　he　most　desired　it。　He　was

afraid；　he　wa