第18部分(第6/7 頁)

not　want　to　go　on；　she　did

not　want　to　go　out　into　it；　she　wanted　to　go　no　further。

〃What　do　I　care　about　that　lot　of　girls？〃　she　would

say　to　her　father；　contemptuously；　〃they　are　nobody。〃

The　trouble　was　that　the　girls　would　not　accept　Anna　at　her

measure。　They　would　have　her　according　to　themselves　or　not　at

all。　So　she　was　confused；　seduced；　she　became　as　they　were　for　a

time；　and　then；　in　revulsion；　she　hated　them　furiously。

〃Why　don't　you　ask　some　of　your　girls　here？〃　her　father　would

say。

〃They're　not　ing　here；〃　she　cried。

〃And　why　not？〃

〃They're　bagatelle；〃　she　said；　using　one　of　her　mother's　rare

phrases。

〃Bagatelles　or　billiards；　it　makes　no　matter；　they're　nice

young　lasses　enough。〃

But　Anna　was　not　to　be　won　over。　She　had　a　curious　shrinking

from　monplace　people；　and　particularly　from　the　young　lady　of

her　day。　She　would　not　go　into　pany　because　of　the

ill…at…ease　feeling　other　people　brought　upon　her。　And　she　never

could　decide　whether　it　were　her　fault　or　theirs。　She　half

respected　these　other　people；　and　continuous　disillusion

maddened　her。　She　wanted　to　respect　them。　Still　she　thought　the

people　she　did　not　know　were　wonderful。　Those　she　knew　seemed

always　to　be　limiting　her；　tying　her　up　in　little　falsities　that

irritated　her　beyond　bearing。　She　would　rather　stay　at　home　and

avoid　the　rest　of　the　world；　leaving　it　illusory。

For　at　the　Marsh　life　had　indeed　a　certain　freedom　and

largeness。　There　was　no　fret　about　money；　no　mean　little

precedence；　nor　care　for　what　other　people　thought；　because

neither　Mrs。　Brangwen　nor　Brangwen　could　be　sensible　of