第22部分(第4/7 頁)

the　rain。　He　went　on　till　the　illumination　fell　on　him　dimly。

Then　looking　up；　through　the　blurr；　he　saw　the　youth　and　the

girl　together；　the　youth　with　his　back　against　the　wall；　his

head　sunk　over　the　head　of　the　girl。　The　elder　man　saw　them；

blurred　through　the　rain；　but　lit　up。　They　thought　themselves　so

buried　in　the　night。　He　even　saw　the　lighted　dryness　of　the　loft

behind；　and　shadows　and　bunches　of　roosting　fowls；　up　in　the

night；　strange　shadows　cast　from　the　lantern　on　the　floor。

And　a　black　gloom　of　anger；　and　a　tenderness　of

self…effacement；　fought　in　his　heart。　She　did　not　understand

what　she　was　doing。　She　betrayed　herself。　She　was　a　child；　a

mere　child。　She　did　not　know　how　much　of　herself　she　was

squandering。　And　he　was　blackly　and　furiously　miserable。　Was　he

then　an　old　man；　that　he　should　be　giving　her　away　in　marriage？

Was　he　old？　He　was　not　old。　He　was　younger　than　that　young

thoughtless　fellow　in　whose　arms　she　lay。　Who　knew　her……he

or　that　blind…headed　youth？　To　whom　did　she　belong；　if　not　to

himself？

He　thought　again　of　the　child　he　had　carried　out　at　night

into　the　barn；　whilst　his　wife　was　in　labour　with　the　young　Tom。

He　remembered　the　soft；　warm　weight　of　the　little　girl　on　his

arm；　round　his　neck。　Now　she　would　say　he　was　finished。　She　was

going　away；　to　deny　him；　to　leave　an　unendurable　emptiness　in

him；　a　void　that　he　could　not　bear。　Almost　he　hated　her。　How

dared　she　say　he　was　old。　He　walked　on　in　the　rain；　sweating

with　pain；　with　the　horror　of　being　old；　with　the　agony　of

having　to　relinquish　what　was　life　to　him。

Will　Brangwen　went　home　withou