第83部分(第2/7 頁)

or　more　than　two　years。

Often　her　thoughts　returned　to　him。　He　seemed　like　the

gleaming　dawn；　yellow；　radiant；　of　a　long；　grey；　ashy　day。　The

memory　of　him　was　like　the　thought　of　the　first　radiant　hours　of

morning。　And　here　was　the　blank　grey　ashiness　of　later　daytime。

Ah；　if　he　had　only　remained　true　to　her；　she　might　have　known

the　sunshine；　without　all　this　toil　and　hurt　and　degradation　of

a　spoiled　day。　He　would　have　been　her　angel。　He　held　the　keys　of

the　sunshine。　Still　he　held　them。　He　could　open　to　her　the　gates

of　succeeding　freedom　and　delight。　Nay；　if　he　had　remained　true

to　her；　he　would　have　been　the　doorway　to　her；　into　the

boundless　sky　of　happiness　and　plunging；　inexhaustible　freedom

which　was　the　paradise　of　her　soul。　Ah；　the　great　range　he　would

have　opened　to　her；　the　illimitable　endless　space　for

self…realization　and　delight　for　ever。

The　one　thing　she　believed　in　was　in　the　love　she　had　held

for　him。　It　remained　shining　and　plete；　a　thing　to　hark　back

to。　And　she　said　to　herself；　when　present　things　seemed　a

failure：

〃Ah；　I　was　fond　of　him；〃　as　if　with　him　the　leading

flower　of　her　life　had　died。

Now　she　heard　from　him　again。　The　chief　effect　was　pain。　The

pleasure；　the　spontaneous　joy　was　not　there　any　longer。　But　her

will　rejoiced。　Her　will　had　fixed　itself　to　him。　And　the

old　excitement　of　her　dreams　stirred　and　woke　up。　He　was　e；

the　man　with　the　wondrous　lips　that　could　send　the　kiss　wavering

to　the　very　end　of　all　space。　Was　he　e　back　to　her？　She　did

not　believe。

My　dear　Ursula；　I　am　back　in　England　again　for　a　few

months　before　going　out　agai