第5部分(第5/7 頁)

ished　he'd　finished　college。

When　I　got　a　little　older；　he　still　talked　about　himself　and　his　childhood；　but　he　also　started

asking　questions　about　me。　What　were　we　learning　at

school？　What　book　was　I　currently　reading？　What　did　I　think　about　this　or　that。

Then　one　time　he　surprised　me　and　asked　me　about　Bryce。　Why　was　I　so　crazy　about　Bryce？

I　told　him　about　his　eyes　and　his　hair　and　the　way　his　cheeks　blush；　but　I　don't　think　I

explained　it　very　well　because　when　I　was　done　Dad　shook

his　head　and　told　me　in　soft；　heavy　words　that　I　needed　to　start　looking　at　the　whole

landscape。

I　didn't　really　know　what　he　meant　by　that；　but　it　made　me　want　to　argue　with　him。　How　could

he　possibly　understand　about　Bryce？　He　didn't　know

him！

But　this　was　not　an　arguing　spot。　Those　were　scattered　throughout　the　house；　but　not　out

here。

We　were　both　quiet　for　a　record…breaking　amount　of　time　before　he　kissed　me　on　the

forehead　and　said；　“Proper　lighting　is　everything；　Julianna。”

Proper　lighting？　What　was　that　supposed　to　mean？　I　sat　there　wondering；　but　I　was　afraid

that　by　asking　I'd　be　admitting　that　I　wasn't　mature

enough　to　understand；　and　for　some　reason　it　felt　obvious。　Like　I　should　understand。

After　that　he　didn't　talk　so　much　about　events　as　he　did　about　ideas。　And　the　older　I　got；　the

more　philosophical　he　seemed　to　get。　I　don't　know　if

he　really　got　more　philosophical　or　if　he　just　thought　I　could　handle　it　now　that　I　was　in　the

double　digits。

Mostly　the　things　he　talked　about　floated　around　me；　but　once　in　a　while　something　would

happen　and　I　would　understand　exactly　what　he　had

meant。　“A　painting　is　mo