第32部分(第3/7 頁)

　that　things　were　better。

That　night　at　the　hotel；　in　our　room　with　the　long　empty　hall　outside　and　our　shoes　outside　the　door；　a　thick　carpet　on　the　floor　of　the　room；　outside　the　windows　the　rain　falling　and　in　the　room　light　and　pleasant　and　cheerful；　then　the　light　out　and　it　exciting　with　smooth　sheets　and　the　bed　fortable；　feeling　that　we　had　e　home；　feeling　no　longer　alone；　waking　in　the　night　to　find　the　other　one　there；　and　not　gone　away；　all　other　things　were　unreal。　We　slept　when　we　were　tired　and　if　we　woke　the　other　one　woke　too　so　one　was　not　alone。　Often　a　man　wishes　to　be　alone　and　a　girl　wishes　to　be　alone　too　and　if　they　love　each　other　they　are　jealous　of　that　in　each　other；　but　I　can　truly　say　we　never　felt　that。　We　could　feel　alone　when　we　were　together；　alone　against　the　others。　It　has　only　happened　to　me　like　that　once。　I　have　been　alone　while　I　was　with　many　girls　and　that　is　the　way　that　you　can　be　most　lonely。　But　we　were　never　lonely　and　never　afraid　when　we　were　together。　I　know　that　the　night　is　not　the　same　as　the　day：　that　all　things　are　different；　that　the　things　of　the　night　cannot　be　explained　in　the　day；　because　they　do　not　then　exist；　and　the　night　can　be　a　dreadful　time　for　lonely　people　once　their　loneliness　has　started。　But　with　Catherine　there　was　almost　no　difference　in　the　night　except　that　it　was　an　even　better　time。　If　people　bring　so　much　courage　to　this　world　the　world　has　to　kill　them　to　break　them；　so　of　course　it　kills　them。　The　world　breaks　every　one　and　afterward　many　are　strong　at　the　broken　places。　But　those　that　will　not　break　it　kills。　It　kills　the　very　good　and　the　very　gentle　and　the　very　brave　impartially。　If　you　are　none　of　these　you　can　be　sure　it　will　kill　you　too　but　there　will　be　no　special　hurry。