第4部分(第5/7 頁)

〃Oh；　I　love　you　so。　Please　put　your　hand　there　again。〃

〃It's　not　been　away。〃　I　turned　her　so　I　could　see　her　face　when　I　kissed　her　and　I　saw　that　her　eyes　were　shut。　I　kissed　both　her　shut　eyes。　I　thought　she　was　probably　a　little　crazy。　It　was　all　right　if　she　was。　I　did　not　care　what　I　was　getting　into。　This　was　better　than　going　every　evening　to　the　house　for　officers　where　the　girls　climbed　all　over　you　and　put　your　cap　on　backward　as　a　sign　of　affection　between　their　trips　upstairs　with　brother　officers。　I　knew　I　did　not　love　Catherine　Barkley　nor　had　any　idea　of　loving　her。　This　was　a　game；　like　bridge；　in　which　you　said　things　instead　of　playing　cards。　Like　bridge　you　had　to　pretend　you　were　playing　for　money　or　playing　for　some　stakes。　Nobody　had　mentioned　what　the　stakes　were。　It　was　all　right　with　me。

〃I　wish　there　was　some　place　we　could　go；〃　I　said。　I　was　experiencing　the　masculine　difficulty　of　making　love　very　long　standing　up。

〃There　isn't　any　place；〃　she　said。　She　came　back　from　wherever　she　had　been。

〃We　might　sit　there　just　for　a　little　while。〃

We　sat　on　the　flat　stone　bench　and　I　held　Catherine　Barkley's　hand。　She　would　not　let　me　put　my　arm　around　her。

〃Are　you　very　tired？〃　she　asked。

〃No。〃

She　looked　down　at　the　grass。

〃This　is　a　rotten　game　we　play；　isn't　it？〃

〃What　game？〃

〃Don't　be　dull。〃

〃I'm　not；　on　purpose。〃

〃You're　a　nice　boy；〃　she　said。　〃And　you　play　it　as　well　as　you　know　how。　But　it's　a　rotten　game。〃

〃Do　you　always　know　what　people　think？〃

〃Not　always。　But　I　do　with　you。　You　don't　have　to　pretend　you　love　me。　That's　over　for　the　evening。　Is　there　anything　you'd　like　to　talk　about？〃

〃But　I　do　love　you。〃

〃Please　let's