第22部分(第1/7 頁)

coffee…grit…encrusted　blue　plastic　Evergreen　mug　for　the　third　time　that　day。　He　wouldn？t　mind

being　dead　right　about　now。　They？d　been　cleaning　out　the　Humphreys？　ramshackle；　grime…coated

Upper　West　Side　apartment　for　a　grueling　two　hours；　but　it　felt　more　like　two　days。　Dan　just

wasn？t　cut　out　for　hard　labor；　and　he　could　feel　the　heart　palpitations　ing　on。　At　least　if　he　died

now；　he？d　die　young；　like　his　idol；　the　poet　John　Keats；　which　he　always　thought　was　sort　of

romantic。

They　could　bury　him　beneath　the　Strand；　a　copy　of　Baudelaire？sFleurs　du　Mal　over　his　ashen

face。　Maybe　Vanessa　would　weep　dramatically　as　she　said　her　final　goodbyes。　Or　wait；　maybe

Greg　would。　This　was　one　of　the　many　problems　with　recently　discovering　you　might　be　gay？it

was　totally　unclear　whether　your　future　widower　would　be　your　longtime　ex…girlfriend　or　your

newish…maybe…boyfriend。

After　he　and　Dan　had　shared　a　semi…conscious　drunken　kiss　at　their　literary　salon　earlier　in　the

summer；　Greg　seemed　to　have　decided　two　things：　that　Dan　was　gay；　and　that　they　were　a　couple。

Dan　wasn？t　sure　how　he　felt　about　either　of　those　conclusions；　but　he　hadn？t　had　very　long　to

think　about　it；　because　Greg？s　grandmother　had　passed　away　a　few　days　later；　and　Greg　had　left

for　Phoenix　for　the　funeral　and　to　spend　time　with　his　extended　family。　He？d　been　gone　nearly　a

month；　and　in　that　time　Greg　had　sent　Dan　dozens　of　beautifully　crafted　e…mails；　all　with　the　same

theme：　absence　makes　the　heart　grow　fonder。　But　every　time　Dan　wrote　back；　he　wasn？t　sure　if　he

was　growing　any　fonder　of　Greg　。　。　。　or　just　more　confused。

Dan　tried　to　shake　his　uncertainty　away。　？I？m　going　to　k