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pigeons　and　spat…out　gum？

？Anyway；？　Ruby　went　on；　her　voice　as　breathless　as　if　she？d　been　running　the　10K；　？That？s　not

the　reallybig　news。　Are　you　sitting　down？？　？Yeah；？　Vanessa　lied；　distractedly　placing　her　ceramic

cup　in　the　microwave　and　setting　the　timer。

？We？re　getting　married！！！！！？

？What！？？Vanessa　sank　to　the　floor　in　front　of　the　microwave；　Folgers　crystals　scattering　all　over

the　linoleum　they？d　just　mopped　this　morning。Married？　ToPiotr　？　They？d　just　met　a　few　months

ago！　He　made　paintings　of　naked　women　anddogs　！　And　now　he　was　going　to　befamily　？　There

was　something　seriously　wrong　with　the　world。

Just　then　Dan？s　mom　glided　into　the　kitchen；　wearing　a　diaphanous；　floor…length　pink　dressing

gown　embroidered　with　hundreds　of　exotic　birds。　A　pasty；　fragrant　white　cream　that　smelled　like

pound　cake　covered　every　inch　of　her　face。　Her　fuzzy　pink　slippers　shuffled　against　the　linoleum

floor。　？Pardon　me；　I　forgot　to　take　my　vitamin　drink！？　Jeanette　whispered；　opening　the　refrigerator

and　pouring　a　noxious…looking　brown　liquid　into　a　Scooby…Doo　glass。　？Vitamins　are　nature？s　gift

to　us　all！？　she　trilled。　Vanessa　just　shook　her　head　as　Jeanette　smacked　her　lips　and　started　to　walk

back　to　Dan？s　room；　drinking　the　disgusting…looking　concoction　and　humming　as　she　went。

？Vanessa？　Can　you　hear　me？？　Ruby？s　voice　broke　the　silence。

？Um；　yeah。　Whatever。　I　mean；　congratulations；？　Vanessa　murmured　into　the　phone。　She　looked

up　to　see　Dan　standing　in　the　doorway。　He　shot　her　a　quizzical　look　and　mouthed；　？Are　you　okay？？

Vanessa　just　nodded　and　brought　the　phone　closer　to　her　ear。　Ruby　was　still　chattering　away

happily；　totally　oblivious